Not everyone gets abandoned in their life but do get left out, but I was technically abandoned… twice… by the same person. Now, I do NOT want sympathy or pity because if it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have the relationship with God that I do. Plus these are my accounts from what I feel, experienced, and was told; her truths may be different.
If you have read the About the Author page, you would have read a little about the first time that my birth mother left me out of her life. She had claimed that she had enough to handle with two kids already and being a single mom, but then she willingly put herself in a sexual relationship which set herself up to become pregnant again. She went on to say how my birth father wanted nothing to do with me. She said she had no choice but to put me up for adoption. My siblings then went on to fend for themselves with my big half sister taking care of my younger half brother who was born only 5 years after me. I was made aware of this 6 years ago at the age of 18. After finding that out, can you imagine how an 18 year old would feel?
So let’s turn things around. I also mentioned on my author page that I am in contact with my birth father. My parents had always told me the beginning part of the first story all the time. So, here I thought that my birth father was the bad guy. I had plans, great plans, to meet him and mess his face up. I wasn’t very forgiving at the time. When my half sister found me, I was very unsure on how I should react. My conversations with her consisted of making sure that he either felt bad or what I was originally told, wasn’t true. It turns out that my birth parents broke up before I was born due to her being unfaithful. He had no idea that I was put up for adoption since he didn’t get the newspaper to see the court listing that requested him to step up. She never contacted him directly. He found out that she kept him out of the loop to spite him. (Again, what I was told)
Wow. Just a ploy to get back at someone who you have a problem with? Really? OUCH.
The second time my birth mother had abandoned me was just these last couple years. She always declared that she wanted a relationship with me and cared to be a part of my life. I lived with her for 9 months after high school. After that, I moved back home to work at a company that offered health benefits. Shortly after I move, she broke up with the man she was devoted to, moved up state, and entered into a relationship with a man who changed her… I feel for the worst. She wanted nothing to do with any of her kids. I was forced to initiate all conversations that we had with her making the littlest effort possible.
It was after this second abandonment, after I had gotten my hopes up, that reaffirmed what I learned the first time, God is my father. He doesn’t abandon His children.
If my birth mother was who I thought she was, the void that God was supposed to fill still wouldn’t be filled.
Have you ever felt abandoned or actually were abandoned? Share your experience. Know that God can fill the hole that was left behind.
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God bless xoxo