Rape is the living nightmare that is too common today, but it was also common back in Biblical times as well. We hear about even celebrities that are raped like Ke$ha. Well, Tamar was a well-known person as well and she was raped but persevered. This makes her my #5 favorite person of the Bible.
King David had a few concubines that gave birth to his children. Tamar was one of his daughters making her, what we call now, a princess. She was beautiful. Today, beauty is something people long for and pay lots of money to obtain. Tamar was beautiful to the point that everyone was attracted to her including her half-brother! It’s for this reason that she considered her beauty as a burden because it came with a price.
I understand PTSD especially as a result of rape. So if you have a hard time with stories of rape, please view the Bible quote with discretion.
2 Samuel 13: 1-22
“Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her. But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea. One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.” So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.” So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him. When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left. Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!” So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters. But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying. Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister.”
Wow! So only was she raped but she went away crying from feeling like a complete disgrace. What we know and believe now is that Tamar was not a disgrace. None of this was her fault. She did not ask Amnon for sex. He lusted after her because she was blessed with a beauty that girls are jealous for. But, there had to be something admirable about this situation… Absalom named one of his daughters Tamar as well.
I think we can learn from Tamar that beauty isn’t alway everything. That goes for men, too.Lysa TerKuerst taught me, if you want the good something of someone’s life, you need to be prepared to take the bad that comes with the good.