3 Ways to Avoid the Comparison Trap

We’ve all heard that comparison is a thief of joy. I am here to tell you that this quote is so true! I struggled with comparison all of my childhood and most of my adult life so far. But I’m also here to tell you that it doesn’t need to be that way. I want to share my struggle and tips on how to avoid comparing yourself in the future.

In my childhood, I struggled with comparing myself to my friends like most kids do. Who has the cooler toy, me or you? Who has the most stylish clothes? Who’s house do you like playing at more? I always thought that my friends had better. I wanted what they had. Jump into my teenage years to find your typical comparison of teenage girls like makeup, clothes, body type (but for me it was skin type), and who was given a car at the age of 16. 

We all think that the art of comparison will go away when you’re an adult but it doesn’t go away. Many adults struggle with comparing jobs, social status, parenting techniques, and still even compare looks. My struggle with comparison is typical but also not… My biggest struggle with comparison is between who I am and who I thought I was supposed to be or wanted to be. I wanted to be married and have a child by the time I was 26, have a job that I was absolutely satisfied with, go out with friends and enjoy a great time with them (I know, I can’t have this one and the first one at once.. haha). 

3 Ways to Avoid the Comparison Trap

It took me a while to realize that this type of comparison is just as dangerous as your typical type of comparison. Once I realized this struggle, I knew I needed to make a change. I’m hoping to help you with that right now!

  1. GRATITUDE – Gratitude can seem cliche, but it is the main thing that I focused on. I had to be grateful that even though I wasn’t married yet, I have a man that loves me so much. I had to be grateful that even though I don’t have children of my own yet, I get to work with amazing kids every week at church. I had to be grateful that I had a job that I shouldn’t have gotten based off my past work experience.
  2. PRAYER – Prayer can go along with gratitude. Pray by giving thanks to God for what you do have and the experiences you get to enjoy. Also, it is okay to pray for the things that you do want, but you also need to remember that God can answer by saying no or maybe later because He knows your heart and what is really best for you especially in the season that your are in.
  3. REFLECT – You should reflect on how far you have come in your life. Look at the battles you have faced and overcome. See how all of it made you into the person that you are today and who you will be in the future. Embrace all of that and see how you can make it part of your best life. This is important because this gives yourself a sense of self-love which helps you embrace who you are. 

Here are some bible verses to help you along and include in your prayers


“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” -Galatians 6:4-5 

“We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.” -2 Corinthians 10:12 

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” -James 3:16 

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” -Proverbs 14:30 


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3 thoughts on “3 Ways to Avoid the Comparison Trap

  1. Hi Ashton!
    Thank You for sharing your heart and reminding me about the trap of comparison. It is so easy to get caught up in the world’s expectations and forget we are not here to please the world or anyone else, but God. I used to be a whole lot worse, but it is true with age comes wisdom and you realize what is important versus what won’t matter tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving!

    Liked by 1 person

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