I was adopted when I was born. After I found out, I was never the same. I could have lived with it, except I ended up having abandonment and attachment issues even though she meant well by it. I would cling to any guy. I ended up clinging to the wrong guy my senior year of high school. I was determined to get out of my parents’ house because we didn’t get along, and he was determined to help. So after my graduation ceremony, I was living with him and his family. The emotional and sexual abuse started earlier on but got worse when I moved. I wasn’t allowed to contact my family. He monitored my Facebook and phone. As those who have experience with people with autism, you know passions and obsessions are a daily thing. I was his passion. Sex was his passion.
I always had the desire to meet my birth mom as I was told ok things. I found her! On Facebook! He was happy until he realized I now had a place to escape to. I wasn’t allowed to meet her in person until he wanted money. I was only allowed to work part time. I got into an accident taking him to a doctor appointment. Doctor bills and working part time a little over minimum wage=NOT GOOD. I got out January 28, 2011. It’s a day I celebrate every year now. I moved in with my birth mom. Time went on and I struggle with anxiety attacks and developed borderline personality disorder. I also found out my birth dad isn’t the man described to me.
This a lot for a 20-something to handle. I already had bills in collections (that I did eventually get paid off, praise God!) because of my decision to be with him. One choice can throw you on a path you’d never expect. I’m surprised I have gone through so much already! I wouldn’t change it for the world, though, because I don’t know if I would have a direction in life It gives me great joy knowing Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11 and that God does not put our trials to waste. You don’t go through something for the heck of it. For a while I thought I was a puppet on stage for Gods enjoyment to watch me like a show. That’s not the case, and that is not the case for your life, either.
Alright, now that you know my story, here’s what I plan to do with my experience: I have planned to write 3 books. Yes! 3! I’m not sure on these anymore but still thoughts. One about my past, the second is a fiction story showing the reader what borderline personality disorder looks like from their point of view, and the third will be sort of what this blog is here to accomplish which is to bring light to situations and let the Holy Spirit speak through me. I’m also a Grand Canyon University graduate with a degree in Christian Studies and Youth Ministry so I can minister to the girls (and boys) who are vulnerable at the age and to teach them that it’s not a path to go down, but there’s hope if that’s where you end up.